He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
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the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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