They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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