i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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