omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
