oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
