Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
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And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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