i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize