a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
