I'm really into asian looking animals
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
