one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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