Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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