Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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