i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
