maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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