wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
