i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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