"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
