Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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