It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him