that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.