Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
