Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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