should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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