I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
