Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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