all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
