Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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