My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
