I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I looked at my own cervix.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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