What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
