Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
