Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
