He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
