i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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