One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want to fling myself into the sun
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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