summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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