Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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