just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
