Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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