does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think my vagina is haunted
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
