I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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