What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
