Too much gin, very little bucket
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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