What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
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You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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