I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
