haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Ladies don't puke and tell
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
