you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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