SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
