He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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