forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
