Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
