that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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