So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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