Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
