i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I checked into jail on foursquare
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
