shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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