My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize