Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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