If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
