you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
