like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
