She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
