I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
