Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize