i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
